I ((ai))

I cried. I cried so much knowing that there aint much time until you, pipi leave me. Im so hurt. Im so sad. I hate knowing that times past. I hate knowing that you eventually will leave me. I love you so much. I cant explain how I feel. I cant show my feelings towards you. You may be feel like I dont even care about you. But inside, im hurt. I cant do anything for you. Im speechless when I talk or chat with you. Idk how to react when I saw you. But on the same time, I want you to be besides me. I just want you. I cant accept that you will leave to rawang. I just cant.... Idk how to react. Bc you didnt tell me. I knew it just when I read your blog. It's like so sudden. I feel like Im dreaming. Such a nightmare. Knowing you will be far away than me makes me feel ahshdfudjdbf. I know, before you leave pun now like you are far away than me. But Im okay even im not your fav person anymore. Bc at least, i could see you in silence. There's so much untold speech. You know? When I chat with you, first you be like why you put fullstop and you said it's awkward. Tbh, first i dont understand what do you mean bc i feel the same. I miss you so much. But after that day I chat you again and your words... really hurt me. Your words sounds like "go away i dont want to talk to you again you are such a stranger to me go away i dont want to talk to you it's not you who I expect to chat me just go away i dont like you". You put a knife on me. Im so hurt. And that day only I realized... oh that's what you mean... And when I said awkward... again... your words... kill me. Im so sorry. Im always being late. That's why I get so much regret in my life. And I regret. For losing you in my life. Im so sad. I cried. I miss you so much. Your words killed me. Ya Allah.... Sometimes I hope when I wake up, things never happened. I always wanted you to be with me. Even it's awkward... Ahhhhhhhhh I hate crying but all I can do is crying... Pipi pls dont leave me.... Ya Allah.... Tmr will be your last day in school. Im always read your tweet. Im speechless read ypur quote about teacher pang's words. I just... speechless. There's a tweet you said, "never be someone's fav person" I just... who am I? Am I not your friends? Just so you know that you always ve my fav. I never forget your existence all this time. Remember your letter? I want to make one but I cant... And this is actually mine. for you. I always thanked Allah for give me such a beautiful gift like you to me. I cant thank much. Im so grateful. If only you can see what is actually there in my heart... Im always thanked you and love you. Every single day I think of you. When I saw Faizzah or any others your classmate, I asked them where were you. I always wanted to see you even without your notice. Im so happy seeing your smile and laugh. You smile when you were with them. It just make me happy. Bc you smiled. Ya Allah..

Ya Allah, give a beautiful life to her.
Ya Allah, rewards her happiness like how she makes happiness to others.
Ya Allah, give her strength.
Ya Allah, care for her.
Ya Allah, give her what she deserve.
Ya Allah, dont make her forget me.
Ya Allah, pls love her like how You love me.
Ya Allah, bless her.
Allah, pls...

You should know and you should trust me, you always be my fav. You always be a person I love so much. You always being loved by others. You always have such beautiful live to compare to the others. You always in my mind. And im always love you. Pls trust me. Im not lying. Rahmat buat kamu... Berbahagialah di sana. Aku di sini sentiasa mendoakanmu.

Aku yang sentiasa sayangkan kau, Alia❤